Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
