Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize