I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
