just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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