Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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