just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
