go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
