If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
