Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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