dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
