i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
