We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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