found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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