My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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