I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
