So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize