Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
