You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
