Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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