if you like me you must not know who I am
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
