I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
