ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
