i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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