six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
