just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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