I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
