Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We need to rekindle our bromance
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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