It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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