I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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