I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
