it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
