He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
