Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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