I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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