Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
