cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
