There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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