drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she told me i tasted like america
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
