If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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