Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
