I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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