Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize