Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
