Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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