come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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