She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
