yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
