i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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