It's just like the Real World with babies
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
