Please, let me fuck your mom
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
