apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
