Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
