yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
