I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
