Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
