youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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