I think I won the penis lottery.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
