The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
