the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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