Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize