The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
