Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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