id be glad to
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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