why didn't you poke me back
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
