textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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