He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
