I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
