Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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