If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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