I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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